One of my favourite quotations (yes, I regularly compile my top 10 quotations, what of it?) is: "Manners maketh man." I think it dateth back to the 14th century, but it stands today. Ill manners are inexcusable. Not only that but they tend to bring out my passive-aggressive side, which is definitely not my best side. Fortunately this is not a column about the rights and wrongs of social conduct, so you won't have to suffer me harping on about it. Instead, I'd like to propose a slight alteration to the quotation. I think it should read: "Manners and accessories maketh man."
What I mean by that is: if a man has a nice wallet, or a good belt or a striking watch, it can really bring an outfit to life – elevate it beyond the sum of its parts. For example, if someone is wearing a plain sweatshirt, jeans and trainers but has a snazzy Anderson's woven belt poking out at their waist, the whole ensemble becomes much more appealing. I suppose my eyes are a little like a magpie's – hungrily searching out a glint of something interesting.
A while back I lost my lovely blue Comme des Garçons wallet. It's infuriating to misplace any wallet, but I had huge affection for this one. So I bought an identical replacement. Subsequently, the wallet that I had insisted to the police had been "stolen from my pocket" turned up at Baker Street lost property, all contents intact. This meant two things: 1) I had to apologise to the police for wasting their time, and 2) I had two identical wallets. Generous soul that I am, I gave one to a friend. I now derive great pleasure from the regular compliments upon it that he receives. I should silently bask in the reflected glory of the compliments, but I tend not to do that. I tend to state quite emphatically that I (inadvertently) bought it for him. Is that bad manners? I hate myself.
In further evidence of inner conflict and uncertainty, I've made a massive U-turn on the thorny issue of watches. I used to feel that anything showier than a Casio digital was unnecessary – an affectation designed to crudely display wealth. Clearly that is still true of some watches. But then there are many that, while not as cheap as the trusty Casio, do represent good value in the head-turning stakes. OK, I'm exaggerating. No one's going to stop you in the street because of your watch. Unless you're Flavor Flav. Which you're not. But it's nevertheless worth thinking about splashing out on a far-from-ostentatious Uniform Wares watch, or even a minimalist Braun (because it's always a pleasure to have a watch that matches your electric toothbrush).
Don't forget, though, that a sweet timepiece and statement wallet will mean nothing if you don't mind your Ps and Qs. You need both.
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